Sermon by Howard Nichols 2/10/2008

Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation

The title of my thesis is: Human Connection within Technological Society: Choosing Relationship over Isolation. Change is the major focus of today's sermon. Human connection changes over the course of our lifetime, as does the meaning of that connection within the context of society. Technological society has acquired a rapid and increasingly rapid pace of change since the beginning of the industrial revolution. Technology, the very mention of the word elicits imagery of change. For example, my cell phone, only three or four years old, has a battery that is failing. At the phone store, that specific battery is no longer available. The clerk asks me, "Why not just get a new phone?"

Economically, I probably should, my provider will allow me $99.00 towards the new phone; several models cost exactly that and I would be charged a fee of $18.00 instead of the $29.99 the new battery costs. . . . Next year, all the television broadcasts will be digital, thus new TV sets or converter boxes will be the next in a long line of latest and greatest gadgetry, that, once we start using it may change our lives. Langdon Winner writes, in The Whale and the Reactor, his cautionary tale about technological consequences, "In our times people are often willing to make drastic changes in the way they live to accommodate technological innovation while at the same time resisting similar kinds of changes justified on political grounds" (Winner 39).

Science changes, in its own methodical way: observe; hypothesize; experiment; and repeat until results may be reproduced reliably and independently. Technology changes too, but in a slightly different way. Science and technology, inextricably bound are nevertheless not identical. Science is a body of work, a perspective, an ethos, a philosophy, and some might consider it to be a religion. In other words, Science is much more than a method of producing technology. Technology, if we characterize science as a means, may be regarded as more of an end. However, it is also a powerful means in and of itself, yet it shapes and is shaped by society, politics, market and consumer forces.

Relationship, I think of it as rewarding, sometimes challenging, possibly frustrating, yet dynamic. I use relationship in the broader sense of ongoing connection and deepening mutual understanding within the context of family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Relationship, using a narrower definition as significant other, whether one's life partner or one with whom one is currently romantically involved, fits into this larger category. I chose the word dynamic because it implies growth and stretching and change. These qualities contrast with stagnation, an outcome that I associate with isolation and alienation.

Human Connection within Technological Society: Choosing Relationship over Isolation. I chose this topic for my thesis, in part because last summer I traveled to New York City with my ten year old son and we spent a lot of time on buses and subway trains. So many people were plugged in to headphones or earbuds for their cellphones and iPods. I thought to myself, "They are not talking with each other."

Human connection, I believe is the precursor to relationship. Relationship is unfolding, over time. Intent, communication, and participation all go into the creation of and maintenance of relationship. Furthermore, relationship has an ongoing quality. I see relationships as the foundational material of community and communities as a network of relationships. Human connection within technological society describes the interrelatedness between people, which balances the conditions of life within technological society. Interacting with technology is not the same as interacting with people.

Martin Buber, in his book I and Thou, speaks of encounter in terms of creation and relationships. "It is in encounter that the creation reveals its formhood; it does not pour itself into senses that are waiting but deigns to meet those that are reaching out" (Buber 77). The I-You relationship between two beings entails a reciprocal reaching out, between people and other people, or people and other Yous, and between people and the divine. Longing, love, and welcoming in I-You meetings are not possible in the I-It realm of things, objectification, and thingness.

Choosing relationship over isolation necessitates a reaching out, in order to love and be loved, in order to be fully human. John O'Donohue, in his book Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, describes the concept of soul friendship, which is a special relationship that has reached a depth of love and feeling and intimacy that is not easily attained.

Soul friending is an ancient Celtic practice; stillness and reflection prepare the individual to befriend themselves and to learn, not only to love themselves and love others, but to receive love when it arrives. Hospitality is at the heart of the discipline and the image of journeying inward toward a wellspring of cool clear water is offered as the place where we can meet our true selves and learn to know and love our own soul. "Love is absolutely vital for human life. For love alone can awaken what is divine within you. In love, you grow and come home to your self" (O'Donohue 7). Hospitality is an important aspect of home and home is the place where families and individuals interface with the community.

Some people speak of virtual communities, online gathering places in cyberspace where one can meet others, discuss interests, and share ideas. Others disagree that these electronic forums are communities in the true sense of relationship and fellowship. There are those who are more comfortable sharing their opinions online, why is this so? Is it the anonymity? Perhaps, they lack social skills? What makes people trade face-to-face interaction for the computer screen? With email and cell phones we are capable of contacting more people, but at what cost?

More instances of communication does not imply greater depth of expression or, indeed, further understanding. Has communication assumed a broader and shallower character? Today, we think nothing of listening to other people talking on the radio or using phone lines and cell phones. Until recently, the only people having conversations with disembodied voices were a select few. People who heard other voices were either ancient prophets of the Abrahamic faiths, or shamans, or crazy folks; all of them revered or feared and perhaps both.

Such messages whether considered to be from God, or spirits of deceased ancestors, imbued with power and extraordinary; construed as being anything but of this world. Certainly, they were not thought of as human in origin nor the purview of average human beings. Toward the end of the nineteenth century, well into the industrial age, inventions, using electricity, such as the telegraph, telephone, and radio began replacing the practice of communication by physical messages. Without relying on carrier pigeons, runners, or stables of horses messages could be transmitted vast distances, not in the space of time that it normally took to traverse the expanse, but in the blink of an eye.

Today, in 2008 cell phones smaller than a deck of playing cards are routinely used, daily, by millions of people. In places where cell phones no longer work, satellite phones perform, however, one must keep in mind that communication between people is the main subject. The technology is corollary and important inasmuch as it enables human beings to communicate without the necessity of either exchanging correspondence over time and distance or being in the same place at the same time, to talk in person.

At the start of 2008 there are more than 6,600,000,000 people in the world. More than half of these people have never even seen a telephone before, including cell phones. The reason is that wire, a relatively expensive material, renders installation of infrastructure cost prohibitive in sparsely populated rural regions.

Nevertheless, people unfamiliar with telephones have seen and many have used radio. Just as they have seen trucks although they may not ride in them. Electronics are more expensive and therefore unaffordable for many world citizens. There are probably 1,000,000,000 cell phones in use around the world; this number is likely to grow. There are also approximately 1,000,000,000 televisions and slightly more computers 1,100,000,000 in use worldwide. 365,000,000 of these are privately owned, which is about one third, and many of these are right here in America.

The similar numbers of these devices indicates a difference between the standards of living for some versus the standards for others; many who own one piece of the aforementioned technology own all three. Phones are all about communication. Previously established connections between people could be enhanced and deepened by cell phone use. Otherwise, as a convenient substitute for face-to-face interaction, technology could serve to isolate some, by keeping others at a distance. Television is the imagination limiting device. The computer combines the audio communication of the phone with the visual capability of the TV.

Some computer activities are passive, others are active, and some are interactive. Interestingly, it is the interactive computer activities that can be the most socially isolating. Some are compulsively addictive, whether watching stock quotes, buying and selling, competing for things on eBay auctions, lurking in chat-rooms, gambling, viewing online pornography, or manipulating characters in multi-user role playing games. All of these technological activities take time away from other human pursuits and some can be financially ruinous or disturb one's relationships with friends and family. Dean Ornish, speaking to the issue of heart disease and proper diet, in Love and Survival, says "When we address the deeper issues-the pain, loneliness, and isolation-then people are often much more willing to make lifestyle choices that are life-enhancing than ones that are self-destructive" (Ornish 18). Could this be true in regard to using versus abusing technology as well?

Television regardless of all the improvements of bigger screens, flatter screens, higher resolution, and digital broadcasting has remained static. It still functions as it did at its inception; basically the viewer sits, passively watching. Writing about the collapse of American communities, Robert Putnam, in his book Bowling Alone, tells us that "TV dependence is associated not merely with less involvement in community life, but with less social communication in all its forms-written, oral, or electronic" (Putnam 231). Hours spent in front of the television significantly affect many other aspects of family and community life. "More TV watching meant more time not just at home, but indoors, at the expense of time in the yard, on the street, and visiting in others' homes" (ibid 234). How we watch, as much as how much we watch affects our community involvement.

Selective viewers, those who turn on the TV set for one specific program as opposed to indiscriminate viewing or ambient background noise, are generally older. These people, these types of viewer, are more involved in civic life, volunteering, and working within the political process (ibid 224). Generationally, the younger age groups spend more time in front of the television, and lose interest in programming more quickly, channel surfing, switching from one show to the next.

Computers and cell phones are relatively dynamic, changing functionally as well as in size and appearance. In fact, with the advent of laptops, palm pilots, and increased wireless internet access, the jumble of technology, the cross pollination, of cell phone and computer, computer and cell phone render the two instruments increasingly similar. Examples abound, first consider the interface, both have screens enabling the user to see information and both have keypads with which operators enter instructions. The main difference is in the size of both screen and keypad. Blurry boundaries keep on blurring further, now both cell phones and computers offer touch screens. With the requisite software and peripheral devices one can have conversations using computers. Cell phones come with full mini-keyboards for texting messages and some access the internet and serve as email machines.

Perhaps their retreat is a natural response to the stresses of noise, crowds, and commuting. Maybe this is one way individuals, unable to control their job or the necessity of commuting, can control their environment. Commuting, in and of itself, affects community involvement, longer commutes equal less time spent on civic matters (ibid 213). Many of us commute alone in our automobiles. "This striking shift in the way we allocate our time-toward ourselves and our immediate family and away from the wider community-is confirmed by a survey of twenty-four thousand time diaries" (ibid 107).

Some examples of this twin obsession, of using technology and communicating only with the people we want to, are quite amusing. A group of young people having lunch together are seated at a table eating lunch but instead of talking, they are all busily pounding out text messages on their cellphones!

Philip Hefner, a Lutheran pastor and writer, speaks about the human need for belonging and how the destructive effects of technology can be alienating (Hefner, "The Foundations of Belonging" 164). Yet simultaneously we must make peace with technology because it is part of our culture (Hefner, The Human Factor 104, 154). Hefner characterizes us as cyborgs or technosapiens (Hefner, Technology 25, 74, 75) because of surgeries using artificial body parts and implanted electronic devices. Cyborgs are part human and part machine, and not to get too sci-fi, but what does come next, implanted communication devices?

There appears to be two extreme camps when considering technological society, back to the land neo-Luddites and power crazed mad scientists. On the one hand, shunning technology unequivocally and on the other embracing it unquestioningly. Most of us are in the middle, we want to use it enough but not too much. Eric Brende, gave up city life to farm the old fashioned way, and then wrote a book about his experiences called Better Off. He speaks the wisdom of the middle path, "A balance must be struck between wild overgrowth and bald control, a humanizing amount of trimming and shaping" (Brende 45).

However, there is noticeable an increase in awareness, coupled with a motivation to be good stewards of our planetary home, and Hefner poses some provocative questions which we must consider, He reminds, "When we move to the level of humankind, the species, all of these transcending questions are raised to a higher and more difficult and complex level. Each of us finds four elements in his or her nature that may have gone unnoticed before: nature, individual, group, and humankind" (Hefner, "The Foundations of Belonging" 174).

Technology is not new. We developed it as part of our survival skills long ago but there has been an awful lot of it piling up in the last three hundred years. Our perception that the pace of life is speeding up is not new either, the desert fathers of early Christianity left the bustling cities of the third century CE to get away from the noise, the crowds, the conspicuous consumption of wealth, and the fast pace of life. However, our world which we can circumnavigate in a single day as well as talk with people living on distant continents appears considerably smaller.

Primal fears lurk beneath our psyche in the collective unconscious of our species. Fear of the forces of nature, fear of change, fear of the unknown, and fear of the other that translate into fear of technology or fear of life without it. According to Carl Jung, there is treasure in those depths as well, including the capacity to love. Jung tells us, in his book Modern Man in Search of a Soul "The unconscious is not a demonic monster, but a thing of nature that is perfectly neutral as far as a moral sense, aesthetic taste and intellectual judgement go" (Jung 19).

On our way to the global village, we do well to remember our sixth Unitarian Universalist principle, "The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all" (Unitarian). Considering Hefner's four elements, nature, individual, group, and humankind contained within each of us, we can start with nature and all the flora and fauna with which we share the earth. This is the ground of our being, we are emergent from the earth, in the same way that our consciousness is emergent from us. Indeed, in our capacity for imagination, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, renowned Jesuit palaeontologist, tells us our technology is emergent from our consciousness.

John O'Donohue warns us of loss of contact with our roots, "Fashioned from the earth, we are souls in clay form. We need to remain in rhythm with our inner clay voice and longing. Yet this voice is no longer audible in the modern world" (O'Donohue 2). In context of the seventh Unitarian Universalist principle, "Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part" (Unitarian), perhaps we can tune in and hear this voice and the wisdom it speaks.

If we are able to love nature we can better love ourselves and by better loving ourselves we can love others. Although each and every relationship will probably not reach the depth and intimacy of soul friendship, having first connections, then relationships, and next love we prepare the matrix out of which such a special friendship can arise. John O'Donohue says, "Love is our deepest nature, and consciously or unconsciously, each of us searches for love. We often choose such false ways to satisfy this deep hunger. An excessive concentration on our work, achievements, or spiritual quest can actually lead us away from the presence of love" (O'Donohue 10-11).

Beginning with our first Unitarian Universalist principle, "The inherent worth and dignity of every person" (Unitarian), we can honor, in the Namaste paradigm, the divine within each person. This is relatively easy when we think of our families and friends and often those others, who need care, the poor, the elderly, and the homeless. But we must be inclusive, remembering even those we equate with power, wealthy business tycoons, politicians, attorneys working for oil companies. This is harder because those who seem not to need do not stir our compassion and the actions of the powerful are not always those we can agree with.

This is a gradual process and a building process, just like human connection builds to relationship, and relationship builds to community. Our communities build to nations, and nations build to the global village. This all begins with the human connection. Small and simple things are often what we need for healing; Mother Teresa says, "To children and to the poor, to all those who suffer and are lonely, give them always a happy smile; give them not only your care but also your heart" (Mother Teresa 27).

Technology does not have to be the enemy, but it can be a distraction, an obstacle to human interaction and interrelatedness. Starting with a smile, there are many gestures which we can adopt as good habits. Look people in the eye, this shows them that you care. Be patient, being a good listener has been the start of many friendships. Breathe. Breathe before speaking in haste or speaking in anger. Listen first and talk next, especially with children, they have the answers.

Slow down, this applies to talking, driving, hurrying, and so many things that I cannot possibly begin to name them all. Take your time, anything worth doing is worth the time it takes to do. Get outside, yes, even if it is raining! I love walking my dog and being part of what is happening outdoors, the clouds, a leaf, or sunlight filtering among trees.

Choose relationship over isolation. Realizing that there are those who find solace in a life of contemplation, I am not criticizing different lifestyles, yet, once I was told, "You can go to the mountain, but eventually you must come back down and live with other people again" (Judith Garger 1980). Choosing gives us a modicum of control; however, what I suggest is not necessarily being selective of those with whom we shall relate. Being selective has its place, what I suggest is opening up to other people, especially strangers. Collectively, consideration and loving kindness cultivated today will blossom into respect and love tomorrow.

As far as technology, use it but use it sparingly. Turn off the television. Reading books, talking, playing cards or board games, doing puzzles, and eating dinner together all provide greater stimulation for the imagination and this in turn encourages intellectual, emotional, social, psychological, and spiritual growth and maturation. Habits, which can be hard to change, may be more easily replaced with other habits. For example, set a timer for surfing the internet, and cover the TV with a towel, even though this might sound silly. Believe me, it works! Just the extra effort to lift the towel in order to turn on the television gives a moment of pause and in that moment we can remind ourselves, "I do not want to watch so much TV," then we are free to choose alternatives.

Or maybe do nothing. Just sitting, listening to music, or better yet in silence, on the couch or the floor with a favorite pet or family member gives a respite, a time to breathe. This gives us time and space to be a human being instead of a human doing. So pet your cat or dog. Hold hands with your lover or friend or child. Be in the moment.

When we are out in the world, dealing with clerks, drivers, servers, and the countless others who help us negotiate our busy lives and get through our days, remember, we are all in this together. Focus on the human connection. Smile, look that person in the eyes, and when appropriate, take time to check in and show you care. Ask them how they are and then really listen. Everybody has a story to tell and we can all learn from one another. Take the time to honor the light within yourself and others. Namaste!

Sources Consulted by Howard Nichols, Sunday 2/10/2008:

Brende, Eric. Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology. New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 2004.

Buber, Martin. I and Thou. Trans. Walter Kaufmann. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1970.

de Chardin, Pierre Teilhard. The Phenomena of Man. Trans. Bernard Wall. New York: Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1959, 1955.

Hefner, Philip and W. Widick Schroeder, ed. Belonging and Alienation: Religious Foundations for the Human Future. Chicago: Center for the Scientific Study of Religion, 1976.

Hefner, Philip. Technology and Human Becoming. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2003.

Hefner, Philip. "The Foundations of Belonging in a Christian Worldview." Belonging and Alienation: Religious Foundations for the Human Future. Ed. Philip Hefner and W. Widick Schroeder. Chicago: Center for the Scientific Study of Religion, 1976.

Hefner, Philip. The Human Factor: Evolution, Culture, and Religion. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1993.

Jung, C. G. Modern Man in Search of a Soul. New York: Harcourt, Brace and Company, 1933.

Mother Teresa. In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories, and Prayers. Ed. Becky Benenate. Novato, California: New World Library, 1997, 1995.

O'Donohue, John. Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom. New York: Cliff Street Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 1997.

Ornish, Dean. Love and Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy. New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 1997.

Putnam, Robert D. Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. New York: A Touchstone Book, Simon and Schuster, 2000.

Rose, Barbara. "iPod isolation" (Chicago Tribune) The Seattle Times: Business & Technology, April 2, 2006.

Seuss, Dr. Yertle the turtle and other stories. Boston : Houghton Mifflin, 1958.

Sleek, Scott. "Isolation increases with Internet use" APA Monitor, Vol. 29, 9, September, 1998.

Thurman, Howard. The Search for Common Ground: An Inquiry into the Basis of Man's Experience of Community. New York: Harper & Row, Publishers, 1971.

Unitarian Universalist Association. 11 Jan. 2006. http://www.uua.org/aboutuua/principles.html

Winner, Langdon. The Whale and the Reactor: A Search for Limits in an Age of High Technology. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1989, 1986.